Wine is basically grape juice that has been standing around for a while. Before a rioting crowd of vintners rage at my door with pitchforks, however, I would like to clarify: there is a lot more to winemaking than just setting a glass of juice out in the sun. 

 

Winemaking is an involved, beautiful art form that has taken centuries to evolve to what we know and enjoy today. 

 

The oldest known winery was founded in Ancient Armenia in 4100 BCE. We didn’t even know about this place until 2007, when a group of UCLA researchers discovered it, alongside the world’s oldest leather moccasin, in a cave near the village of Areni. In that cave, they found a wine press, storage vessels, drinking cups, and withered grape vines and seeds. (1)

 

The running theory is that, since they were in a burial site, the wine must have been used as a part of a burial ritual of some kind. Because the moccasin was left at the door, it stands to reason that the process must have required those involved to participate barefooted out of respect for the dead. 

 

Thanks to that discovery, we can now pinpoint wine’s vintage (heh) at 4100 BCE, making it about 6,000 years old according to our current information. 

 

So, what has it been doing all this time?

 

Well, it’s kept busy and it’s made a lot of friends.

 

For one thing, the Egyptians loved it. By 3100 BCE, pharaohs started running the place and they began using wine in their ceremonies. Because it resembled blood, however, the Pharaohs themselves generally stayed away from the stuff, believing wine to be, according to Plutarch (who was quoting Exodus), “The blood of those who had once battled against the gods, and from whom, when they had fallen and had become commingled with the earth, they believed vines to have sprung.” (2)

 

Undaunted by the blood visual, other Egyptians drank it by the gallon (yum? I guess? Before you judge them too quickly, I’d like to point out that Christians literally call wine the Blood of Christ, so I guess it’s just an all-of-us thing). They generally thought drunkenness was what happened when the spirits of those fallen men intertwined when your own.

 

So, basically, when you were drunk you were possessed…which would honestly explain a lot.

Despite the traditional apprehension regarding wine among Pharaohs, when King Tut was discovered, they found no less than 36 wine amphorae (those tall ancient-looking jars with the two handles at the neck that we all associate with old-school Greece) bearing the name Rha’y, who was the royal vintner at the time. There was still wine sediment at the bottom of the jars. (3)

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BIBLIOGRAPHY—Chapter 1

(1) Owen, J. (2011, January 12). Earliest Known Winery Found in Armenian Cave. Retrieved from https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/1/110111-oldest-wine-press-making-winery-armenia-science-ucla/

(2) Poo, M.-C., & . (2009). Chapter VI: The Significance of Wine and Wine Offering in Egyptian Religion. In Wine and Wine Offering in the Religion of Ancient Egypt(p. 147). New York, NY: Routledge.

(3) Graham, S. (2004, March 22). King Tut Drank Red Wine, Research Reveals. Retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/king-tut-drank-red-wine-r/